


When Despair Turns Into Hope

by KurokuLotus



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Coma, Eventual Romance, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Japan, POV Third Person, Post-Despair, Slice of Life, Super Dangan Ronpa 2 Spoilers, Threats of Violence, Winter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2014-11-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 05:39:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2139063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KurokuLotus/pseuds/KurokuLotus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsumiki rides home on the train one night and ponders the fate of Nagito Komaeda, who is still in a coma, even after everybody else woke up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Silvery Dark

**Author's Note:**

> **IMPORTANT:** Hello, my lovely readers! I just wanted to make the announcement that I'm sorry this hasn't been getting updated; I've been really really busy with assignments and finals. So I've decided that when summer break comes (starting in May!), I will make full use of my newfound free time to make huge progress on and eventually finish this work. Apologies that I might not be uploading chapters until it's done, since I want to make sure that everything fits and is tied together. Please understand, thanks! I also added this announcement into my profile. Thank you for your unending patience with me. ^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back, with another Komamiki, this time taking place post-despair! I started this back in March, but am now getting off my lazy ass to continue working on it. Not sure when I’ll have all the chapters up, but anyway. Enjoy the first chapter~

It was the end of a long day for Tsumiki as she sat quietly on the train. There were quite a few other people present, but none of them paid any mind to each other. The majority were either reading, on their cellphones, or just inattentive to their surroundings. The large space was brightly lit, yet Tsumiki still felt the ice in her toes from the bitter cold. Her mind began to wander as she glanced out of the frosted window into the late evening. Whether she wanted it or not, a certain boy with pale hair would always cross her mind. He was currently in a hospital bed, having sweet dreams, nightmares, or was simply brain-dead. Nobody knew. He had never woken up.

Everybody else who had met their horrible end in the New World Program recovered from their deep, comatose states. Even the ones who suffered head or other bodily trauma, which might’ve guaranteed permanent damage. But everyone was unharmed. Physically, at least. They had regained their lives, but also their traumatic memories from the real world. Nevertheless, there were many tearful reunions amongst the friendships formed, but there was still unavoidable deep psychological turmoil that surfaced between the players of victim and murderer. Tsumiki herself was a murderer. A murderer that accepted her fate in the end and was punished according to the rules of the mutual-killing. But when she recovered from her own coma, she could not escape what she had done. Just like the others who killed for their own selfish reasons. But of course, the one forced to bear the greatest guilt on his shoulders was Hajime Hinata, or as he was known in their previous lives, Izuru Kamukura.

Tsumiki absentmindedly tugged off her glove from her right hand and played with it in her lap, still absorbed in her deep thoughts.

Since then, the Future Foundation ensured help for the poor, misguided despair children who had awoke from their nightmares, along with the ill-fated survivors who lived through the entire calamity. After months of extra conditioning and therapy to completely stamp out any remaining despair, classmates alike were able to finally “graduate” and leave Hope’s Peak Academy forever. Everybody except the ironically unlucky Nagito Komaeda. However, he still “graduated”, and had been transferred from the island facility to a city hospital, where the Future Foundation paid for his care until he finally awoke. That is, if he ever awoke.

Tsumiki winced to herself and tried again to suppress the newly-surfaced memories of the atrocious deeds she and her classmates ritualistically performed while part of Super High School Level Despair. The Foundation no longer felt the need to erase their memories again, but she strongly wished they had. The high body count. The suicides. How a large amount of blood and despair became part of their daily lives… How could a group of teenagers attending the most prestigious academy in Japan become so far gone? She herself had become one of the worst, having wholeheartedly accepted their leader’s manipulations. And actually believed that… No… Don’t think about it…

The train then came to its scheduled stop at the nearby station, forcing Tsumiki to subdue her inner monologue. She and several other passengers gathered their belongings and left their seats to step off onto the platform and join the conventional bustling crowd. Tsumiki clutched the strap of her purse as she advanced past hundreds of other people, all who were anxious to get home. The chilly evening breeze bit her exposed cheeks when she exited through the train station doors. Her boots pattered against the concrete as she strode onto the sidewalk, and started to make her way home.

Home to Tsumiki now was a small apartment located in an old building outside of the city centre. The Future Foundation helped her and all the other students who didn’t have anywhere to go find apartments to live in and pay the upfront rent. But now, the monthly rent was up to her to pay, not to mention the frequent purchases of food and other necessities. Tsumiki gained a part-time job at a café in an attempt to earn a livable wage for the time being, but there was also a much larger expense to worry about. She had already applied to the undergraduate medical school in the area for the next year, but the tuition was quite expensive. Tsumiki could’ve waited longer, but she wanted to hurry and start helping those weaker than herself in order to become a useful member of society. To have a chance to redeem herself… She didn’t want to depend on the organization to achieve this goal, but if absolutely necessary, she would accept their help and then repay the money with her salary as a practicing nurse. But even then, Tsumiki wasn’t entirely sure where they obtained their seemingly endless flow of cash.

The tall aged building emerged in the distance as the plum-haired girl walked on, looking forward to a good night’s sleep after the tiring work of the day. She envisioned the leftover food in the fridge and the stack of ramen on the small kitchen counter, figuring that she had enough for the remainder of the week until her next paycheck. After a certain amount of time and stair-climbing, she finally reached her apartment door while digging around for the key, and unlocked it. Venturing into the darkness, Tsumiki flicked the light switch and surveyed the now-lit and familiar humble space to make sure everything was in place. The closet at the side of the room, which contained her futon and sheets, was still firmly shut. A small wooden table stood in place in the center, as did the tiny television huddled in the corner. Letting out a sigh, she shut the door behind her and plunked her bag down onto the tatami mat-covered floor, before slipping out of her coat, boots, and the rest of her winter apparel. Tsumiki then walked into the kitchen down the hallway to the left and habitually checked the fridge. Not much but some cheap leftover sushi, a carton of eggs, a tin of grocery store salad, a carton of milk, and a small tub of yogurt. The cupboard housed sweet potatoes, cans of tuna, a couple of small bags of rice, and packs of microwaveable noodles. She realized that she was fresh out of bread and instant miso soup, and quickly pulled out her cellphone from her pants pocket to tap in another addition to her shopping list for next week. The Foundation had also supplied them all with smartphones to keep in touch with each other if they desired, and because having a phone in this day and age was a basic necessity for communication and various other things. For Tsumiki, it became her life source. In it, she stored notes, plans, lists, and her work schedule, as well as being able to message her friends. Even if she had everything memorized anyway, she liked to have support to lean back on. 

Placing her phone on the counter, the plum-haired girl then took a pack of soba noodles next to it that she had left previously, and proceeded to prepare them in the microwave. She wasn’t picky in the least about instant noodle brands, but she didn’t feel like having ramen again tonight. It took a usual 8 minutes for the ancient microwave to heat it up, after which Tsumiki grabbed a pair of chopsticks from the drawer and took her food to the center table of the main room, before plopping herself down onto the mat. Waiting a minute for it to cool, she then gorged on the steaming noodles straight from the package, her stomach grateful for the hot food after the near-freezing outdoors. Not that her apartment was that much better. It was cheap, thus poorly insulated, and she couldn’t afford to buy a heater. Her electricity and water expenses were enough.

After finishing her meal, Tsumiki discarded all the packaging, replaced the chopsticks, and grabbed her phone before returning to the main room. She then opened her closet to retrieve her futon to unroll and place next to the balcony door, shutting it afterwards. Flicking off the lights for the night, she retired into it, not undressing from her clothes as she preferred to retain as much body heat as possible until morning. Lifting the screen to her face while she lay on her back, she checked her messages from earlier that day. All of her classmates’ new numbers came preprogrammed into the phone, but the only person she had really been texting lately was Hinata. Truth be told, she was scared of the rest of them, even if she called them her friends. Everybody (except a select few) had messaged her sometime in the past two months to ask how she was doing, deciding to ignore the fact that she had gone insane from contracting despair fever and murdered two of their classmates in the program, and was additionally one of the most violent members of Super High School Level Despair. The general agreement amongst the group was to move on from what they had all lived through and just start their lives anew, even if it was inevitably difficult and painful. After all, every single one of them turned out to have blood on their hands, even if they had survived the program. And even though the despair-intoxicated Tsumiki had received the forgiveness she really yearned for, the stabilized Tsumiki was terrified that everybody, even Hinata, secretly hated her. She wouldn’t condemn them in any way if they did. She was a despicable person.

The plum-haired girl distractedly scrolled up and down on her contact list with her thumb while pondering the fates of the rest of her classmates. Souda had gone back to his father to pursue his work as a mechanic. Koizumi decided to go into professional photography. Hanamura returned to his mother to work at the family restaurant. Kuzuryuu and Pekoyama rekindled their relationship, with Kuzuryuu deciding to quit being a gangster. Owari and Nidai teamed up and were now striving to professionally coach and participate in pro leagues. Tanaka worked toward opening up a breeding farm and an animal shelter, with Sonia by his side. Mioda- she stopped and cringed. Even though Mioda had forgiven her easily enough after her slew of guilt-ridden apologies, she still did not forgive herself. Tsumiki had expected to be completely ostracized from Saionji as well, but the once bratty and loud-mouthed girl had matured into her true age. When their memories of their former lives had returned, they all realized that none of them were in their real forms, as they had awakened into their true adult bodies. It took a little longer for Tsumiki to gain her forgiveness, but the more grown-up Saionji was gentler and took pity on the nurse. She became fully aware of just how mercilessly she bullied her in her immature state, and was much more willing to forgive than she would have otherwise.

Deciding to shut and lock away the painful recollections once more, Tsumiki reached over and plugged her phone into the outlet next to her as she did every night, and rolled over in her futon. She instead thought about her job and that she had to come in tomorrow morning. Shutting her eyelids, she finally drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a pretty short beginning, but I can promise you, the upcoming chapters are longer. Poor Komaeda, though, he always ends up in the hospital somehow. XD I’ll post up the second one sometime soon. Stay tuned, my readers!


	2. Mosaic Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is chapter 2! It’s definitely longer, and (hopefully) more exciting than chapter 1. Enjoy!

Bright sunlight streamed into the tiny apartment, earning a groan from the sleepy girl next to the balcony doors. She rolled over and shut her eyes tighter, annoyed at herself for forgetting to close the curtains the night before. Then her phone alarm went off. Tsumiki, half-awake, reached over to grab the shiny hunk of metal plugged into the wall next to her and check the time: 8:00 AM. She had to be down at the café by 9:00. She would’ve loved to just go back to sleep, but that wasn’t an option that morning. The plum-haired girl yawned and stretched, before kicking off her futon blanket and exhaustingly lifting herself up off the floor. She then sleepily hauled open the sliding door of her balcony, and went out to take down a few towels, sheets, and articles of clothing hanging from the clothesline that she had left to dry the day before. After staying out for a little more to feel the cool morning air, she piled the heap into her arms and walked back inside to carefully store everything into her closet. Tsumiki then slid the door shut, and wandered into her small bathroom located right next to the kitchen. In fact, it was so small, it didn’t even have a bathtub. All the room contained was a toilet, a sink, a mirror, a clothes-rack, and a narrow washing machine. While standing, she proceeded to strip off her clothing from the previous day, folding everything into the corner laundry basket to wash later. Natural light emitted from the tiny window, illuminating the space.

Tsumiki brushed her teeth in front of the sink, and after rinsing and spitting, spent a few moments staring at her reflection in the slightly cracked mirror. Her skin was still pale and her hair disheveled, but dark circles were beginning to form under her eyes, making her face look noticeably older. Was it stress, or did she just not notice? Her long unkempt hair had grown even longer, and to her thrill, the worst of the hacked off parts were beginning to even out. As she gazed into her own eyes, she thought about how she desperately needed a second form of income. Her waitress job didn’t pay her as much as she would’ve liked, especially since she was still a newbie. She needed comforts such as better heat in this winter, among other things. Her current income barely covered the rent in the past two months she had been living here, but her landlady already loved her for her dedication to paying it on time. Tsumiki liked the older lady, even if she often commented on how dangerous it was for a young girl who had only recently become a fully developed adult to be living on her own in this neighborhood. On top of everything else, there was also the awful fact that there just wasn’t enough money left over after buying the basic necessities almost every week to put in the bank for her tuition costs.

The plum-haired girl took her hairbrush from the side of the sink and brushed her hair, carefully smoothing out all the tangles. Placing it back, Tsumiki then bent down onto the ceramic floor and began to unwrap bandages from her right leg from the day before, revealing ugly stitches embedded in the slightly swollen skin underneath her knee and at her ankle. The last fragment she possessed from her old life, aside from the unbearable memories. And it wasn’t just her- all of their bodies contained a permanent piece of their former leader. As much as she despised it every second she walked this earth, there was no way for her to get rid of or replace it. She just had to live with it. Live with and embrace just one of the many foolish mistakes of her contemptible former self.

After wrapping the limb with fresh bandages and discarding the old ones, Tsumiki exited the bathroom and headed over to the closet to pick out clothes to wear for the day. A collection of mainly pants and sweaters stared back at her, since it was hardly the weather for showing off in skirts, but she would’ve liked to do just that once the temperature warmed up. After dressing and tugging on a pair of socks, she glanced at the adjacent side of the room to find that her phone was blinking with a new message. Unplugging it and picking it off the floor, she saw that Hinata had texted her about ten minutes prior. 

_"Morning, Tsumiki."_

It wasn’t the only message, and she scrolled down to see the second one.

_"Are you going to visit Komaeda again today?"_

Tsumiki expected this. Clutching her phone in her hand, she recalled visiting him the night before, which is why she only got home in the late evening. His pulse, blood pressure, and breathing were all stable, but he didn’t open his eyes even once and barely responded to any stimuli in the weeks he had spent in the intensive care unit. His condition hardly improved. It nearly brought her to tears to think about the possibility, but at this point…

The plum-haired girl stared at the screen, wondering how to reply. She wanted to be there for both Komaeda and Hinata, but train fare was starting to drain her already short supply of cash, especially if she rode to the hospital so often. And she didn’t want to further rely on the Future Foundation for more funds.

Impulsively, she typed out a reply.

_"Morning, Hinata-san! I’ll be there after work."_

Another message blinked onto her screen.

_"See you there then. Good luck at your job."_

_"Thanks! (^∇ ^)"_

She then pocketed her phone, picked up her purse that lay on the floor, put on her boots and coat, and left the apartment.

Regardless of the early morning hour, the street was bustling with people and cars, all presumably out for errands or heading to their jobs. Tsumiki breathed in the cold air as she continued on yet another daily trek. She had mostly become used to the cold, even though it was mid-January and there was almost no snow on the ground. Rows of buildings stared at her as she passed, reminding her of the other places around here she tried to apply for, but did not meet their qualifications. The café fortunately decided to hire her as a waitress, even if she had no prior work experience in much else that wasn’t in the medical field. Unfortunately, it was about a thirty minute walk from her apartment. But thinking about it, she did get lucky in not having to take a train for every shift if she needed to search elsewhere. 

The usual smell of coffee greeted her once she finally pushed open the door of the small café, along with a hello from her manager who was waiting for her. Tsumiki smiled and bowed in greeting, before heading to the back room to change into her work uniform. She opened her locker, and took out her freshly cleaned waitress uniform before proceeding to change. It was quite a boring uniform, Tsumiki admitted to herself. She wanted to apply to one of those fancier maid cafés, as they probably paid more, but they were farther into the city than she would’ve been willing to go all the time. After putting her own clothes and the rest of her belongings away, she headed back out to await her instructions. The plum-haired girl was to serve tables and clean any mess the customers left behind until 5:00 PM, when she could leave. The usual. Once the clock hit exactly 9:00 AM and the café opened for the day, she got to work.

It was a long shift, but Tsumiki didn’t mind. She needed the money obviously, but she also enjoyed seeing the customers’ faces light up when she brought them their food and coffee. The café was small, so it was almost like a tight-knit community. Best of all, she hadn’t encountered any perverts in her time working there, which she was almost certain would’ve happened at a maid café. It helped that most of the staff was female. Even more luckily for Tsumiki, it was nearly the end of the week when she would receive her paycheck. She could go shopping in a few days and restock her fridge, buy another sweater, buy more blankets… The plum-haired girl had a bounce in her step the rest of the time from just that thought alone.

By the end of the day, Tsumiki happily served quite a few customers, and only had to clean up a few spills. After retiring and changing back into her normal clothes, she picked up all of her belongings, bowed goodbye to everybody, and left the café.

As the plum-haired girl walked down the street, mentally calculating how much money she would be spending soon, she remembered something important. Her promise to Hinata. Tsumiki would’ve preferred to take a bath instead, as she usually did around this time, but decided to do it later in the evening and promptly turned on her heel to head to the train station. Then her phone blinked.

_"Are you off work now?"_

She hastily texted Hinata back, _"Yes, I’m on my way now!"_

_"Okay, I’m already at the entrance."_

Of course he was.

_"Thank you, Tsumiki."_

The plum-haired girl hesitated slightly. She didn’t feel like she deserved thanks, as she wasn’t the one taking care of the comatose male, and also felt guilty for thinking about how much money she was spending every time she came down there. But she didn’t want to leave poor Komaeda alone, and she knew Hinata only wanted somebody to be there with him.

_"It’s no trouble at all! (*＾ワ＾*)"_

It was another long trek to the train station. The temperature had lowered since Tsumiki first went out that morning, making her feet move with less energy than they did before. She counted out the remaining change from her wallet, and calculated that she had a little more than enough for today’s fare.

When she reached her destination, she reluctantly paid the fee, and boarded the train that arrived only minutes after. The plum-haired girl took a seat near the front and surveyed the multitude of passengers that were coming on and finding their own seats. She wondered why each of them were on this particular train at this particular time. The obvious answer would be that they were heading home, but she couldn’t help but wonder if anybody had a similar story to hers. Tsumiki pulled her coat tighter and allowed her purse strap to sling off her shoulder as she train began to depart. Outside of the windows, the sun had already started to settle for the day by painting the sky with various shades of gold. The sky. The bright sky that was not tainted with bloody despair, as they were all led to believe, and had been shocked to discover the contrary. None of them were entirely sure whether the Future Foundation had restored order to the world while they were immobilized, or if they had all been deceived in their past. Or the possibility that they were put into another program. At this point, she was no longer sure what was fact and what was fiction. Tsumiki watched the dark trees as they glided past, and pushed her slightly longer bangs out of her face. She reached into her pocket for her phone to pass the time and avoid lingering on forbidden territory.

 _"How are you?"_ She texted Hinata.

A reply came almost straightaway. _"I’m fine. How are you, Tsumiki?"_

_"Fine."_

The plum-haired girl scrolled down on her list of contacts, wondering if she should text anybody else despite her discomfort, and stopped at Komaeda’s name. He did receive a phone along with everybody else, but obviously could not use it. She wondered if she should text that number…but then shook her head. She would’ve felt stupid for it, although she wouldn’t have been surprised if Hinata had done it. Tsumiki settled for texting Sonia instead. The gracious blonde was always worried about her nowadays, which made the plum-haired girl feel guilty for not talking to her very much.

 _"Hi, Sonia-san! How are you?"_ But there was no reply. The princess was probably busy with her own life, like all of their other classmates. Or she was just ignoring her, presumably fed up with her lack of acknowledgement. Or she realized how much she hated her.

After a certain amount of time, the train arrived, and the night’s veil had begun to envelope the city. Tsumiki walked along the stone steps to the hospital, and silently ventured through its large intimidating doors. The lobby was brightly lit as always, with rows of chairs to the side for new patients. The plum haired girl ventured up to the receptionist’s desk and received her usual visitor’s card. Using a pencil from the side, she carefully printed her name and time of visit and was reminded that visiting hours were over at 8:00 PM. Clutching her purse from nerves, she went on to find Komaeda’s room. Navigating the lit hallways with the stare of other nurses wondering why this girl wasn’t carrying a visible gift, she reached the intensive care ward. Tsumiki found the right room, and cautiously opened the door.

The first thing to greet her was the familiar smell of lemony disinfectant. The second thing to greet her was Hinata’s gaze and then smile while he sat in a chair next to the bed. The third thing to greet her was the dreaded unconscious form of her classmate, covered in a thick blanket, and hooked up to various machinery, including a feeding tube.

“Glad you could make it, Tsumiki.” Hinata said as the door shut behind her, his smile wide in visible relief. The plum haired girl smiled back, and reached into her purse. “Here,” she said, taking out a small crossword book that had been packed away in there for a while. “I brought this for him.” Hinata took it from her hand.

“I’m sure he’d enjoy this,” Hinata softly said, and placed it on the table where all of his other gifts were. They included bouquets of flowers from all of their classmates, a few manga volumes, and packs of sweets that he couldn’t eat. Tsumiki knew that he would’ve been happy to see that all of his classmates cared for him to this extent. Even the ones who had detested him before felt remorse at the fact that he was stuck in his coma and may never wake up.

“I also have something for you, Tsumiki.” Hinata reached down to the space next to him and pulled up a thick blanket all rolled up. “You told me that you have heat problems, so I decided to buy this for you. And as a way of thanking you for always coming here.”

The nurse grinned and blushed in happiness as she took the gift. “Thank you very much!”

Hinata smiled back, but she could see a hint of sadness in his eyes. His once purely green eyes that were now tinted with crimson. If bags were just beginning to form underneath her own eyes, his were definitely in the advanced stages. His hair had also gone from pale brown to a heavy shade of black. Even though she never questioned him about it out of politeness, she imagined him, upon waking up from the program, to have immediately shorn off the long disheveled raven hair and vow to abandon the identity he had constructed for himself as Izuru Kamukura. Her theory was further credited with Hinata’s wearing of casual rather than formal clothes recently, to further distance himself from whom he once was. He was also the only one out of them not to have a “phantom” limb, making him somewhat purer than the rest of them from her perspective, even if he had served as the catalyst for the tragedy in the program. She would never admit this out loud, but in her opinion, attempting to wipe out Super High School Level Despair was the best choice for the world.

Hinata averted his gaze to focus on the unconscious body of his classmate, whom he now considered a friend. It was very obvious that he felt extraordinarily guilty for how he treated him in the program and in their past, and was now making up for it by waiting at his bedside every chance he could. Tsumiki knew he would wait day and night, if he was permitted to. He did the same for all of his other classmates, including her, but fortunately they all made a rapid recovery. It was his chance to make things right, by ensuring that they were all strong and well. But the nurse guessed that he was also doing it for a certain someone. In the program, Nanami believed that they would all make it together and have a brighter future. That there was still hope for all of them.

Tsumiki stepped closer to be right next to Hinata, and drew her own gaze to Komaeda’s sickly pale face, obscured partially by his now longer messy white hair. Even though she was used to seeing weak and sick people, the impact was much more distressing when it was someone she was close to. The high amount of machinery made her feel sick, but his heartbeat and breathing seemed to still be stable at the moment. She wanted to examine him herself, but she didn’t have any experience with coma patients, and was afraid to somehow jeopardize his frail condition. The plum haired girl’s eyes then moved down his hospital gown-decked body, to rest on his left side. The heavy blanket covered it, but she knew that what lay underneath was the attached hand of Junko Enoshima. She hadn’t seen the sight of it for a while, but she felt that she would throw up next time she did. Especially since she was the one who stitched it on for him.

To distract herself, she quietly asked Hinata, “Any news from the doctor?”

Tsumiki didn’t turn to look, but she could tell he was shaking his head. “Nothing new. He still doesn’t respond to anything. If this goes on, they’re talking about…” Hinata stopped, his voice starting to shake. The nurse felt herself starting to blink back tears as she knew exactly what that meant. Was this karma…? Was Komaeda being punished for his past misdeeds?

The nurse didn’t tear her eyes away from the white haired boy’s face. He looked so peaceful in his sleep. Would they really lose him? All of their current hope had been undeservingly given to them, but was there really none left for Komaeda?

She finally turned to glance at Hinata, and saw a pale hand covering his cheek. It was clear what he was trying to hide, and the gash forming in Tsumiki’s heart widened. Her lips tightened, and she tried not to break down. She wanted to comfort him somehow, maybe with a hug, but she felt far too tense for that. And it wouldn’t alleviate any of the suffering in the room…

The atmosphere was still incredibly bleak as the two friends stayed stiffly in their places, their hearts feeling a familiar ache. It was inevitable that they would finally receive their long awaited punishment. But in this way...?

Just when she felt all hope drain from her spirit and was really about to let loose her emotions and cry, Tsumiki noticed that Hinata’s hand flew from his face and his expression suddenly changed. She whipped her own head around in time to see Komaeda’s arm shifting. Was it possible…? The plum haired girl looked on in shock when his eyelids twitched slightly. She almost cried in relief when they then slowly opened to reveal a hint of the grey eyes neither of them had seen in so long.

“Oh thank God,” Hinata whispered over and over, his voice audibly trembling. “Thank God, thank God, thank God.”

Tsumiki finally broke down and started sniffling, then clapped her hands up to her mouth so she wouldn’t let out a sob. “Thank goodness!” she couldn’t stop herself from crying out, and wanted to throw her arms around the white haired boy. Both of their desperate prayers were finally answered.

Komaeda’s eyes remained half-closed and glazed over, as he seemed to be completely unaware of his surroundings. His right arm began to shift again. It moved stiffly like one would imagine after being bedridden for so long, but he took no notice of the grieving people next to him.

“I just knew you would somehow pull through,” Hinata whispered, his cheeks now visibly damp. “I just knew it…”

Tsumiki’s eyes were filled with tears at this point, but she could do nothing but smile. 

“Komaeda-san…” she sniffed, the back of her hand wiping her nose.

Seemingly at the mention of his name, Komaeda tilted his head slightly toward them, but without any recognition in his eyes. Then he started to forcibly blink from the bright light in the room.

“Where…am I?” he breathed, in that low voice that neither of them thought they’d ever hear again. The white haired boy then leveled his gaze onto the other two people in the room. Just as one of them was about to answer his question, he locked stares with Hinata. Then his eyes opened wide, and he suddenly recoiled, the blanket falling aside in disarray.

“Why are you here?”

The sudden anger in Komaeda’s voice shocked both of them. “K-Komaeda-san?!” Tsumiki could only let out. Hinata was frozen in place. He couldn’t say a word.

“Don’t touch me! Go away!” The white haired boy shouted, as he tried to withdraw as far away as he could. “Both of you!”

The racket caused one of the nurses to come into the room to see what was going on, and in seeing that a patient was in hysterics, immediately sent out both of the visitors.

They were forced to trudge down the hallway and into the lobby in defeat. Tsumiki was numb with shock, and kept replaying the event over and over in her head. She had never seen Komaeda react like that to anything in all the time she knew him. None of the others had such strange reactions to awakening back into the real world. At least that she knew of. The nurse herself vividly recalled feeling guilt, sorrow, self-hatred... Things she still felt to this moment. Maybe anger really wasn't remarkable.

Both of them handed in their visitor’s cards, and promptly left the hospital out into the cool night. As they stood outside of the doors, Tsumiki couldn't stop herself from mumbling, “Did you expect that?”

She didn’t look directly at Hinata when he responded. “Maybe just a little. I let my guard down, I…” he hesitated. “I was living in a fantasy world where everything would be okay. I guess he must be in utter turmoil right now.”

Tsumiki couldn’t pretend that she didn’t understand. She’d gone through the same thing, after all. Although she was overjoyed that Komaeda finally woke up, it still deeply stung her heart to be rejected in that way. But she was used to it. While pondering again, she turned to let the coming breeze hit her face and sweep up her long hair in an attempt to calm down. All of her concern, apologies, and spilt tears over him weren’t enough. He still hated her in the end. Just like he hated every one of them for being on the side of despair.

The two adults awkwardly thanked each other again, said their goodbyes for the night, and parted. As the plum haired girl headed down the steps, she clutched the rolled up blanket in her left arm and decided to check her phone with her right. One new message.

_"I apologize that it took so long for me to reply, Tsumiki-san! I am fine, how is everything with you?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, what a miracle! But the story doesn't end there, (un)fortunately(?). I’ll be updating this hopefully weekly, so the next part will come by soon. Stay tuned!


	3. Always With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me a looong time to edit this one (No, I wasn't lazy, what're you talking about?), and so it's a little late, I apologize. But now that it's here, enjoy chapter 3~

The news spread fast to their other classmates on Komaeda’s sudden recovery, which was met with (mostly) great joy. However, nobody was permitted to visit him yet, as he was currently undergoing physical therapy and other examinations to make sure his limbs and motor skills were working properly. The Future Foundation themselves were thrilled at this, and sent a grand donation to the hospital he was being kept at. Needless to say, the hospital staff became motivated to work harder to ensure that Komaeda was given the best care possible.

The following Saturday morning, Tsumiki headed to the bank to cash the check she had earned the day before, and gain her weekly budget. Examining her shopping list carefully and mentally calculating how much everything will cost, she paid a visit to the supermarket to stock up on food. Her basket quickly became loaded with cans of soup, a loaf of bread, a few packs of sushi, and anything else she could find that was cheap. She made sure not to grab _too_ much, or else she wouldn’t be able to lug it all the way back to her apartment. 

After she exited the store and started to make her way home, her phone beeped with a text message. Hurriedly checking it, she saw that it was from Sonia.

_“Do you want to come out to lunch with some of the others and me? It’s my treat!”_

Tsumiki’s smile at this invitation froze on her face. It had been over a month since she had last met up with the others, and their last gathering wasn’t exactly ideal. Would it be a good idea to try again? Hopefully Sonia will be able to keep the peace…

 _“Yes!”_ she texted back, against her better judgment. _“But where?”_

Would they be at Hamamura’s restaurant again? Ooh, she really wanted to have that yummy hot chicken dish again, but it was so far awa-

_“Sawayaka Restaurant. I hope you can get there!”_

Oh. Good enough. She could easily take a bus.

_“Yes, I’ll be there!”_

After taking the time to arrive back at her apartment and dump off all her groceries, she headed to the nearest bus station. Having paid the fare, Tsumiki boarded the large vehicle and anxiously awaited its departure. She admitted to herself that she somewhat missed her friends. Or classmates. Or those who would call her a friend in return. The empty feeling in her heart was enough to override the needles in her nerves and the mental anguish at seeing them all again. But her overall excitement deflated once she checked her phone: 10:05. Maybe it was a _little_ too early for lunch…

Nevertheless, when Tsumiki arrived at her destination, she could see that the restaurant and its surroundings were bustling with crowds. She cautiously approached the entrance, carefully placing her hand on the handle, but then her fingertips froze as fresh anxiety spilled over her like a large wave. What if she wasn’t welcome? What if they just stared at her with pitiful, or even fearful, glances and then pretended she didn’t exist? Maybe Sonia was just being polite and didn’t _really_ expect her to show up. If Saionji and Mioda were there, she didn’t think she could take it.

Before her heart threatened to burst out of her chest, she realized that she was blocking the way for other people, standing there like an idiot. Faking a rise of courage, she firmly gripped the handle. Tsumiki still couldn’t help feeling a rise of cold sweat on her forehead, but she swallowed her fear and opened the door. Straightening her back and clutching her purse, she calmly strolled down the table aisle, her pupils hastily searching for any trace of familiar figures.

“Tsumiki-san, over here!”

She might’ve decapitated herself if her head whipped around any faster.

Sonia’s cheerful face and waving hand greeted her from several feet away. It would’ve been easy to miss her, bunched into the corner of a large table and surrounded by so many others. The plum-haired girl didn’t get a good look at who any of them were until she stepped much closer.

“Yo, Tsumiki!” A familiar yell invaded her space, belonging to none other than Souda, with his re-dyed bright pink hair and shark-toothed grin. Next to him was Tanaka, giving the nurse a nod of acknowledgement even with his magenta scarf wrapped tightly around his face. Koizumi, whose once vivid red hair had faded to a shade of chestnut and now touched her shoulders, grinned in welcome. Nidai, still as bulbous as ever, gave her a ridiculous salute and shouted exaggerated words of encouragement, causing her to shrink in intimidation until Owari punched his arm before addressing her happily with a “Yo!”. Next to the perky brunette sat Togami, or the Super High School Level Imposter as they all knew now, but he still continued to play the familiar role by pushing up his glasses and greeting her curtly. Hinata sat at the very edge of the circular table, his smile easing her, as she at least had somebody here that she didn’t feel like fainting around. To her immense (and poorly hidden) relief, Saionji and Mioda were nowhere in sight. But she wondered why Hanamura, Kuzuryuu, and Pekoyama weren’t present. 

“Sit down, Tsumiki-san,” Sonia beamed, looking like the angelic centerpiece of the whole arrangement. “We haven’t ordered our food yet.”

The nurse didn’t think she could squeeze in next to Hinata, so instead she nearly tripped over herself to awkwardly plop down next to Souda instead. She immediately regretted this hasty decision when the bright-maned male leaned close to her and remarked, “Your bangs’ve gotten longer. It suits you!” He grinned widely, even when she squeaked in surprise. 

“Oi, don’t scare her!” Owari banged the table. “Learn some manners!”

Sweatdrops formed on several of their foreheads as the two began to bicker. Koizumi tried to mediate the conflict while Sonia decided to divert her attention to Tsumiki rather than the two hotheads. “How are you doing today, Tsumiki-san?” the blonde smiled, ignoring the childish clash happening on either side of her. 

“I-I’m fine,” the plum-haired girl stuttered out. “But I was just wondering… Why aren’t the rest here? Like Pekoyama-san, Kuzuryuu-san, Hanamura-san, and…”

“Oh, they didn’t seem to be able to make it,” Sonia conveniently answered. “I know Kuzuryuu-san and Pekoyama-san are busy, Hanamura-san told me he didn’t like this restaurant, and that we should go to his next time… Mioda-san had a few shows to perform today, and…” she thoughtfully paused. “Saionji-san didn’t give a clear answer. Maybe she’ll show up a little later…”

“O-Oh.” Tsumiki swallowed. “Well, it is sad to not be able to see them today…” She noted to herself to eat and then make an escape.

“Come on, where’s the food? Oi, waiter!” came Owari’s interrupting voice, not seeming to care anymore about her fight with Souda. 

“Calm down, woman, and be patient! Without patience, you will never succeed!” Nidai thundered.

“I concur with the impetuous one’s action! The Four Dark Gods of Destruction require their source of nourishment!” On cue, four hamsters wriggled out of Tanaka’s clothing, all of different sizes and coats than the last set Tsumiki remembered him having.

Soon after, the server arrived, most likely just to shut them up, and took all of their orders. 

“So, Tsumiki!” Owari said cheerfully. “What’ve you been up to these days? Haven’t seen you in quite a while.”

Tsumiki awkwardly squirmed in her seat, preferring to eye the back of the server as he walked away, rather than having to face the imagined stares of the whole group. “Um…I’ve been…r-really busy…I’m sorry…”

“She’s been working hard at her job.” Hinata answered for her, seeing her plain discomfort. 

“Is that right?” Koizumi piped up. “I remember you saying that you had a waitress job? How’s that going?” She tried to sound friendly and encouraging.

“…Not bad.” Tsumiki managed to face the photographer with a small smile. As much as she found it difficult to settle into the foreign friendly atmosphere, at least they weren’t ignoring her.

“Hard work is good,” Nidai gruffed. “It means that you will most definitely succeed. But that also means that you must eat well, sleep well, and-“

“We know, we know,” Souda interrupted, exasperated.

Owari scoffed. “Why bother working hard when we’ve now got all the money we’ve ever wanted? The Future Foundation folks never seem to run out of it!”

“Impudence!” Tanaka spat, making Tsumiki wince. “I’d much rather see a poor, destitute little creature go to where it is guaranteed unconditional love, instead of how much cash an unworthy being can throw in my direction!”

“Wise words,” Togami chimed in agreement. “Money isn’t something you can throw away, unless it’s on the finest cuisine.”

“Speaking of which,” Koizumi cut in. “How have your championships been going?” 

“The best!” Owari grinned widely. “With the old man’s coaching, I was able to completely pummel the competition!”

“Yes!” Nidai fist-pumped the air. “She still has much to learn, but together, we’re-”

“Not that any of you lesser souls asked me,” Tanaka interrupted loftily. “But my breeding has been going extremely well. Especially with Sonia.” At the mention of her name, the princess smiled sweetly.

Before anybody could retort, what they all had been waiting approximately twenty minutes for arrived. Immediately, Owari and Togami began to chomp down on their dishes as Koizumi scolded them for starting before everybody else. 

Ignoring them, Sonia cried, _“Itadakimasu!”_ and the rest chorused after her.

Tsumiki lifted her chopsticks and rather than immediately dig in, played nervously with her food as the noisy sounds of eating surrounded her.

“Hm?” Owari lifted her head momentarily. “Why aren’t you eating, Tsumiki? Your food’s gonna get cold!”

“O-oh, right…” The plum-haired girl then dug her chopsticks into her simmering bowl of oyakodon and shoveled a heap of rice and egg into her mouth. She pretended to be absorbed in her food as she slowly ate, not meeting the gaze of any of the others, even when chatter and laughter started to fill the atmosphere. To her, it felt so...unnatural.

The first time they met like this after their combined awakenings, what was happening at the moment would’ve been a very distant dream. Tsumiki allowed her pupils to flicker up for a split-second, catching a moment of a possible shared joke between Souda and Nidai, before the former started to seemingly choke and have his back slapped hard by the latter. The others’ laughter in response rang in her ears, and she started to imagine masks plastered on all of their smiling faces. Even Hinata’s. Even her own. The only way this made sense to her was if they had all magically forgotten their pasts and the antagonism between each of them or decided to fully absorb their previous artificially constructed personalities. In a slight flash of anger, she felt like stabbing her chopsticks right into her chicken.

She didn’t forget the agreement that they would all move on. But, she no longer remembered what any of them were like outside of the program or before the poison of despair overcame all of their psyches. For all she knew, it was still contained after fully seeping in, and they all pretended that their flesh was not still rotting from the inside afterwards. Maybe they also forgot their own identities. The combined shrill laughter created the sound of screeching car tires in Tsumiki’s head, and even though clothing covered almost every inch of them, she could see clearly what they were hiding from the rest of the world. Tanaka’s eyepatch. Koizumi’s left shoe. Souda’s right sleeve. Owari’s left shorts leg. Nidai’s left pants leg. Togami’s right shoe. Sonia’s right glove.

“So,” Hinata’s voice rang out. “Have any of you been able to visit Komaeda lately?” At this, Tsumiki raised her head.

“Ah, that’s right!” Sonia exclaimed, in that sugary sweet voice of hers. “He’s finally woken up, hasn’t he? Is it okay to visit him now?”

Hinata nodded. “He made a really fast recovery. Faster than most of us.”

“I really thought we were gonna lose him,” Souda shook his head. “But shows that he’s pretty tough…”

“I regret that I haven’t had the time to visit him recently, with my busy schedule,” Tanaka said.

“Then, we should all visit him!” Koizumi cut into the conversation. “Isn’t that what friends would do?”

Owari babbled what sounded like a “yes” through all the food in her mouth, with Hinata gratefully smiling at the shared agreement coming around the table.

“Tsumiki, you’re going to come visit too, later today?” He shot his smile in her direction.

“Wh-wha-?” She nearly dropped her chopsticks in surprise when the attention came to her. “Ummm…”

“Oh, later today?” Sonia said worriedly. “I might not be able to make it…”

“I’ve also got duties to attend to,” Togami piped up, having wiped his face with a napkin.

“N-Not to worry!” Koizumi waved her hand. “I’ll be able to go later today. We can all go when we’re free. As long as we go at some point, right?”

“Yes!” Nidai’s voice thundered.

“Agreed!” Souda proclaimed, miming a toast.

Hinata’s beaming face instantly brightened the ambience, along with everybody else’s suddenly more genuine-looking smiles. In a rare moment, Tsumiki began to feel the infancy of honest friendship and kindness. She didn’t want to be the bad seed that spoiled it. She didn’t want to disappoint any of them. Especially not Hinata.

“U-um…” She spoke up, reddening at the faces that turned to look at her. “I’m able to go today…”

Hinata’s smile instantly lifted her spirits. “Thank you, Tsumiki.”

The plum-haired girl blushed in happiness, her tense nerves calming. She then joined everybody else in resuming their meals, no longer feeling as anxious as before.

The rest of their time in the restaurant went fairly smoothly, with Tsumiki actually participating in a conversation or two, before they were all finished with their dishes. Owari and Togami ordered seconds, so they were all stuck there for a little while longer. Soon after, Koizumi had to leave for a photoshoot, with Hinata leaving behind her to run some errands. Nidai dragged Owari out by practically the ear so they could get some practice for their next tournament, Togami went to perform his duties, and Souda headed back to his mechanic work, leaving Sonia, Tanaka, and Tsumiki. 

“Well, Tsumiki-san!” Sonia clapped her hands together. “Thank you so much for answering my invitation, and joining us today.”

The nurse blushed, and couldn’t help but smile. “It was no trouble at all. I’d love to join any other gatherings in the future.”

Sonia grinned back. “I’ll be sure to invite you, then!”

Tsumiki stood up from her seat and bowed to both Sonia and Tanaka, wishing them well. They all briskly said their goodbyes, with Tanaka grunting his, and the plum-haired girl swiftly departed the restaurant.

Stepping out of the doors, she let the sunshine rest on her face, her fingers firmly enclosed around her purse strap. Pulling out her phone, she noted the time. 12:30. Over two hours had passed, with barely any notice. It went much better than any scenario she had imagined in her head, and next time, if Saionji or Mioda were there… _Maybe_ she could handle it. If Sonia and Hinata protected her, that is. She smiled to herself, and pocketing the gadget, set off to the bus station. There really wasn’t much left for her to do for the day. Her groceries were all packed away, but she still needed to wash some of her clothes and do other chores. On the bus ride back, she stared out the window while mentally making plans for herself. And of course, part of those plans included visiting the still-hospitalized Komaeda.

Three hours later, the stone steps of the hospital property were again pounded down by Tsumiki’s feet, but this time without her long and intruding evening shadow. With full confidence, she headed past the entrance doors, this time making sure to bring a better and more noticeable gift to avoid judgmental stares. And because she would’ve been much happier directly giving it to Komaeda, rather than leaving it next to his potential deathbed. 

Ascending the stairs while brandishing her visitor’s card, she saw a sight she did not expect to see.

“K-Koizumi-san?” A brunette figure came streaking past her, not even turning to see the slightly shell-shocked girl standing rigidly at the end of the hall. And not far behind the photographer, came stomping Souda. 

“He’s a freak,” she heard him mutter, his footsteps then echoing down the stairs, leaving an extremely confused Tsumiki rooted in place. What happened? The plum-haired girl looked nervously behind her, and after taking a deep breath, treaded cautiously down the hallway until she reached the door to Komaeda’s room. 

When it creaked open, a surprise met her for the third time that day. 

“Ah, has Tsumiki-san come to visit me too?” A voice came from the center of the room. She looked to see Komaeda sitting up in his hospital bed, still decked in his gown, and looking as pale as she had seen him for the past two months. His longer hair was more tousled than it was during her last visit, and his face looked flushed. Hinata, as always, was seated next to him and gave her a welcoming smile.

“But this doesn’t look like the real Tsumiki… She isn’t carrying a scalpel, nor are her clothes bloody… Is this an imposter?” The white-haired boy then emitted a shrill giggle. 

Tsumiki’s nerves heavily tensed up. He seemed delirious. Did they put him on drugs? Suddenly, she understood why Koizumi and Souda made a run for it. Helplessly glancing at Hinata, his smile did not falter.

“...Hi, Komaeda-san,” she managed to say, and closed the door behind her, trapping herself in the room. She was almost afraid to ask the next question. “Um...how are you feeling?”

“Me? I’m feeling perfectly fine,” he laughed again. “I’m not like the rest of you. Did you know that the Future Foundation is talking about putting me in therapy? What a ridiculous idea. I was never motivated by despair.”

She thought that she might need more therapy when this visit was over. But she decided to shrug off his behaviour. At least he was finally fully conscious, even though his speech was slurred slightly and he was still hooked up to an IV drip. And didn’t outwardly reject her presence this time.

“And you’re a nurse,” Komaeda continued. “You should know how a patient is feeling.” He then broke into another giggle.

Tsumiki was unsure how to respond, and thus didn’t know whether to move further into the room or not. 

“Is that a gift you brought, Tsumiki?” Hinata finally spoke up. “It’s nicely wrapped. Are those sweets?”

“U-Um…” The plum-haired girl felt a blush creeping up. “They’re books…” She didn’t want to bring sweets, as she didn’t want to worsen Komaeda’s health, and she recalled Hinata mentioning that he enjoyed reading. Was it a mistake? Maybe she should’ve brought flowers instead…

“Oh, is that for me? Bring it here.”

On command, Tsumiki cautiously stepped toward the sickly male, and carefully placed the package into his outstretched palm. But, it wasn’t the present he started observing, much to her great embarrassment. 

“...You’re better-looking than I remember you being,” Komaeda leaned closer to her, his grey eyes raking over her features. 

Both he and Hinata laughed as she squeaked and jumped away.

There was no question about it. He was definitely pumped full of painkillers.

After hastily making some distance between them, Tsumiki stole a glance at the sheets and nearly exhaled in relief as she noted that “his” left hand was still not visible. But she knew that she’d have to deal with it at some point, even if she was completely willing to offer herself as a sacrifice to a Kami to avoid it forever. _And to avoid many other things in her current life…_

She quickly darted her eyes away so as not to catch Komaeda’s attention, but he had already become focused on the wrapped offering. 

“Well, books are better than those crossword puzzles. It took me less than an hour to solve them. Probably would’ve taken less than ten minutes, if the nurses didn’t keep making me do those exercises. Tsumiki, do all nurses possess a sadistic streak?” 

The plum-haired girl internally twitched at the expected giggle that erupted from him and decided to ignore that question. At least he didn’t seem to hate her gift.

“So, Tsumiki,” Hinata spoke up again, answering her prayers. “How is living at your apartment recently?”

“Oh, um…” She was afraid to answer, as she was sure Komaeda would make another snarky comment or pose an uncomfortable question. “The same as before. Oh, thanks again for the blankets! They’re helping a lot.” At the last exclamation, a certain curly head turned his (dreaded) attention toward her.

“That’s good to hear,” Hinata smiled. “Are you saving up for your tuition?”

Tsumiki didn’t have the heart (or the courage) to admit that she still hadn’t been able to put aside more than a few measly yen towards her goal. She also felt bad for thinking that she needed a better job, as her co-workers and higher-ups have been so good to her, but…

“Oh, you’re living on your own now?” For once, the plum-haired girl was grateful for Komaeda’s interruption. “It’s not so bad. You’ll get used to it.”

“Her apartment is really low on heat,” Hinata stated.

“Is it? I’m sure my house is now an icebox. I haven’t stepped into it for years,” the white-haired boy laughed.

Tsumiki wanted to ask him if he was gonna live in his house again. She desired to express concern over his condition, ask if he was feeling okay, and if he would be able to manage on his own. But she couldn’t untie her tongue.

The plum-haired girl watched as the two began to converse amongst themselves, leaving her with a dull feeling of invisibility. Was she no longer welcome? 

But then Hinata turned again to her. “Thank you so much for coming today, Tsumiki,” he said with another smile.

The stiffness in her stomach remained, but she smiled in turn. He was probably thanking her so sincerely because she was the only one that hadn’t made a fast vanishing act so far. Glancing at Komaeda, his head was turned away and he noticeably became engrossed with the window on the side of the room. Maybe it was time for her to leave.

“I apologize, Hinata-san- and, um, Komaeda-san-, but I have some duties to go take care of.”

“I understand,” Hinata replied. “Thank you again for visiting, Tsumiki. We both appreciate it.”

Tsumiki felt Komaeda’s eyes back on her as she started to bow deeply in their direction. “I promise to visit again soon!” Barely waiting for any sort of response, the plum-haired girl then turned and left, nearly slamming the door behind her.

She probably shouldn’t have left so abruptly. But it was difficult for her lungs to accept oxygen from that room. Difficult being around the last shreds of despair- the last fully living connection to her past life, minus the old and worn stitches on her leg.

As hard as it was before, it was now almost possible for her to look directly into Hinata’s eyes without internally flinching. But not Komaeda’s.

Tsumiki quickly put aside those thoughts for the time being. She had the rest of the day to herself, and so she decided to just relax. 

At around 5:00 PM, the nurse was on her feet yet again, this time headed to a long-awaited destination: the local bathhouse. This was her favourite daily ritual in her new life- soaking in the warm water and (temporarily) forgetting all of her bottled up stress. Even though it may’ve been tedious to not have her own bath or shower, she didn’t mind at all. Bathing alone would’ve brought back unwanted memories.

After reaching the building, Tsumiki headed through the doorway, small basket of supplies in hand. She stopped to remove her shoes in the entrance hall and place them in a nearby shoe locker before approaching and paying the attendant at the front. The red curtain on the left signified the women’s changing area, which she calmly strode past. There were already several other females in the tatami-floored room, the plum-haired girl nodding at them in acknowledgement while finding her own locker to store her belongings in. Inside went her purse, her phone, her outdoor wear, and finally the rest of her clothing. Lastly, Tsumiki proceeded to unwrap the day’s bandages from her leg and stuff them into her purse to dispose of later. Shutting the door and picking up her basket off the floor, she ventured into the bathing area.

Tsumiki didn’t possess very much modesty at all, and so it didn’t bother her to be naked in front of strangers. What did bother her, however, was the possibility of people staring at the very noticeable stitches on the one part of her body that she was extremely ashamed of. As a result, she was always paranoid that she would be escorted out for it.

There were quite a few people in and near the baths, with various volumes of chatter and laughter filling the ceramic-tiled room. The plum-haired girl never socialized with anybody when she went to take a bath, preferring to just do her business and go on her way. But that didn’t mean that she didn’t enjoy being there. As Tsumiki sat down onto an empty stool, she turned on both the cold and hot water taps to fill the wash basin in front of her. After shutting them off and taking a moment to soak a small washcloth into the pool, she then squeezed an ample amount of body wash from a bottle taken out of her basket, and proceeded to rub it over her awaiting skin. She scrubbed and scrubbed, only pausing to briefly dip the washcloth into the water in between, thinking of nothing but the noise filling her ears from her surroundings. It comforted her and prevented her from relapsing, as she’d sometimes imagine the water running beneath her to be blood and her brain would painfully swell up with memories of herself disinfecting her body in the past. She took care not to scrape her skin raw, even though she was always tempted to, to avoid recreating any past bruises or injury that she may’ve acquired. 

Once Tsumiki finished cleansing her skin, she turned on the shower and let the warm water pour over her entire body, releasing her of her sins. Switching it off momentarily to apply and lather shampoo and then conditioner into her hair, all the soap and bubbles were then completely rinsed off. After satisfyingly washing herself completely and putting away the washcloth, the nurse tied up her wet hair with a spare hairtie to allow it to dry. She then stood up from the stool, grabbed the towel she’d brought with her, and headed towards the bath.

Leaving the towel on the rim, her feet dipped into and then fully waded in the warm, steaming water. Once she reached the other side, Tsumiki turned and lowered her entire body into a sitting position, the water almost at the base of her neck. Taking a glance around, she noticed a few high school girls chatting amongst themselves and giggling. While leaning against the wall, the plum-haired girl became lost in her own thoughts as she allowed herself to fully relax in the tranquil warmth. Unwittingly, her eyes began to travel down her own body until they rested on her right calf. The sight seemed almost dream-like, as the image of the scarred limb swayed slightly beneath shallow ripples. 

With all her heart, she rejected it.

It was what prevented her from completely forgetting. She was forced to care for it like it was her own flesh and blood. As long as it was alive… She imagined it having its own beating heart.

Dark thoughts rose up in Tsumiki like bile.

She wanted to mutilate it. It needed to be lost and forgotten, like every shard of old memory she possessed. Unlike those, maybe she could get rid of it. _It had no place in this world…_

In an instant, the sound of a nearby splash and water sprinkling over her forced her out of her trance.

“Oh, sorry, Onee-san!” One of the schoolgirls laughed. “I wasn’t looking at you!”

“…No problem.”

Tsumiki sighed and slumped further against the wall as the laughter of the girls trailed farther away. Lifting up her left arm from beneath the translucent surface, she began to examine it. She no longer wore bandages on it, but as she studied it, there still remained faint brown scars. She didn’t remember what caused them- knife wounds? Cigarette burns? It had been so long. Another thing she didn’t remember was why she didn’t replace this arm in addition to her calf. It seemed logical- so why didn’t she? The right answer just didn’t come to her.

A handful of moments later, the plum-haired girl’s tense muscles became looser, her cheeks turning rosy from the heat. She wanted to stay in the bath forever, but reality’s unceasing tug overcame her as always. Feeling fully relaxed, she decided it was time to get out.

Ascending from the pond, Tsumiki made her way back to the other side, grabbing her towel in the process. At the washing station, she quickly rinsed her body once more and brushed her teeth before untying her now-damp hair and drying off her entire body with the towel. Wrapping herself in it, she took her basket and opened the sliding door to the change room. At her locker, she took out a roll of fresh bandages from her purse and bandaged up her leg before redressing in the rest of her clothes. As she put on her jacket, an audible vibration came from her pants pocket. Taking out her phone, a new text message flashed on the screen. “From Nagito Komaeda”.

_“I’ve already figured out the plot twist. You can do better than that, can’t you?”_

Another flash.

_“~ヾ(＾∇＾)”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest one so far. I promise that there'll be more Komaeda next chapter! I might also be slipping a little on updates, so sorry if the next few come a little late. Bear with me, and stay tuned~


	4. Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeeeere you go, the long-awaited chapter 4! I actually had this done for a while, but didn't have time to really sit down and edit. I spent a while editing this, until I was finally decently satisfied.
> 
> ....Please don't kill me for taking so long. D8 (It's a long chapter, hope that's good enough!)

“I’m sorry!”

A cry that came right after an ear-splitting crash.

On the wooden floor, lay Tsumiki in a messy heap with chunks of shattered plates around her. Astonishingly, none of the fragments touched her exposed skin. 

Nearby customers gaped at her, but didn’t stand from their seats as she scrambled to regain herself. It was difficult to try to get up with so many porcelain bits scattered around, that somehow ended up beside her as well as in front of her.

“Are you okay?” Her horrified co-worker ambled quickly over to the nearly in-tears nurse and helped her collect the shards in a tray she had on hand.

_“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”_

After cleaning up the mess, the other waitress helped Tsumiki up and tried to reassure her by saying that she wouldn’t tell their manager. It worked, until she ended up spilling coffee all over a customer and herself later in the shift. They had the misfortune of a full café that day, which made any small disaster one thousand times worse. By the time it was all over, the nurse was completely in tears.

That entire week, the same pattern occurred. Coffee stains showed up on practically every surface, more of the budget was spent on new mugs and plates, everybody had to stop what they were doing to fix her mistakes at nearly every moment, and many apologies and tears were spilt.

Tsumiki was a very loyal employee who always showed up on time, did whatever she was asked to do, and stayed overtime if it was necessary. Until then. It must have been karma.

But for exactly what, she wasn’t sure. It could’ve been absolutely anything she’d done in her detestable existence.

The plum-haired girl swallowed hard as she stood rigidly in place, hands folded on the front of her waitress apron, in front of her manager’s office. It was the third time she had been called there that week. The previous times, she was let off with a warning after her promises to improve, but it didn’t hold up. She wasn’t able to get rid of her bad luck demons. And now she was going to lose her job, have nothing to pay her rent with, then lose her apartment, and be nothing but a disappointment to the Future Foundation, the others, and all of modern society.

Tsumiki quickly bowed once the door of the office creaked open menacingly and her manager emerged. The woman didn’t greet her with the usual smile, instead with an almost curt politeness as the girl was requested to enter. Their footsteps trailed in unison into the room, the door closing behind them.

“Tsumiki,” her manager started, looking directly at her while the nurse shrank timidly in her spot. “I understand that you haven’t been able to improve after the last time I spoke to you.”

The young girl meekly nodded her head, too scared to utter even an apology.

“Again, I don’t understand this sudden...development,” The woman brushed her own hair out of her face, seemingly deep in thought. “Since I employed you, you have done everything that was asked of you, were never late… Are you sure there’s nothing bad going on in your life currently?”

Tsumiki shook her head furiously.

Her manager’s eyes trailed to the large coffee stain over her employee’s uniform blouse and sighed. “I’m sorry to have to say this, but the best choice of action may be to put you on a temporary leave of absence. I’m not firing you-” she hastily said, after a shocked look etched itself on the plum-haired girl’s features. “But you need a break. I think about two weeks would be suitable.”

The nurse stayed quiet as the woman continued to speak. Tsumiki would be unpaid, but it would hopefully rid her of any negative influences so she can safely go back to work. But since it was a part-time job, it was possible that she could be replaced by a more able worker. Almost as bad as being outright fired.

A large grey cloud hung over Tsumiki’s head as she dragged herself back to her apartment afterwards, which matched very well with the darkening cloudy sky above. No money for two weeks. She didn’t have enough saved to live off either, so she didn’t know what to do.

Once she unlocked the door, the plum-haired girl trudged straight to the kitchen after shrugging off her coat and opened her fridge. She already knew that there was plenty left for her to survive the rest of the week, but what after that?

She needed some cold water on her face. Maybe it would help her think things through.

Following up on that thought, Tsumiki walked into the bathroom and immediately turned the faucet. Not even a drip came out. Confused, she turned the other one, but still nothing. Was the water shut off? She didn’t receive any notice…

Taking out her cellphone, she called her landlady.

Moments later, the older woman was up at her apartment to see the problem. The faucets still held no water, and she bent down to check the pipes under both the bathroom and kitchen sinks.

“Yep, the pipes are frozen,” her landlady stated matter-of-factly, as if it happened many times before. “Tsumiki-chan, it’s freezing in here! Don’t you keep up your thermostat?”

“I…” the plum-haired girl stuttered. “No…”

“You should! It’s what prevents incidents like that, in a building as old as this,” she clicked her tongue. “I’m going to have to call a plumber. Now, I’ll pay for that, but if there’s any damage to the pipes or any other property, I’m afraid you’re responsible. You _need_ to keep up your thermostat. A heater wouldn’t be a bad idea, either.”

Tsumiki wanted to bang her head against the wall until there was nothing left but a pulpy mess. _Of course she needed a heater._ It wasn’t just for her own benefit that they were useful. Keeping the thermostat low also didn’t help. How stupid was she. And now she was facing a possibly large bill requiring money that she didn’t have. For the next two weeks, she resolved to not eat or spend anything at all.

But of course that wasn’t possible. The nurse couldn’t stay in the apartment with frozen pipes, and so she had to go elsewhere while they were being fixed.

Doing her best to keep a stoic composure, Tsumiki descended the stairs to the lobby and tugged out her phone again. Even as she repeatedly tried to turn it on, the screen stayed completely blank.

That was the last pile of sand that collapsed the sand tower.

Forcing open the building doors, Tsumiki broke into a run and didn’t stop until she reached the payphones which were nearby. The only fortunate thing to happen to her so far that day.

Desperately trying to swallow the lump forming in her throat while gripping one of the receivers, she dug around in her purse for change and struggled to allow the coin to disappear forever into the slot. After taking a heavy breath, a clink noise became audible, and then the rapid push of buttons.

“Hello?”

At hearing Hinata’s familiar voice in her time of crisis, Tsumiki nearly broke down in tears.

“Um, Hinata-san...Th-this is…Tsumiki…”

“Tsumiki? Did something happen? Why aren’t you calling from your cellphone?”

“I-I… M-my phone…” Her nose started to run. “I-It…” She cursed the sniffle that came out.

“Tsumiki, are you alright?” His calm voice became panicky. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”

“I-I…” A sob burst out of her. “I lost my apartment…” she whispered.

“S-Sorry?”

“I lost my apartment!” she wailed, the tears letting loose. “And my job, and- and I have no money now and nowhere to go!”

“Tsumi-”

“And maybe I deserve it!” she continued to bawl, huddling tightly into the booth so as to not disturb anybody around her. “M-Maybe I should just starve! For being such a-”

“Tsumiki, no! Calm down!” At this, her loud sobbing halted, replaced by quieter sniffling. “Please don’t cry...”

“Y-You need a place to stay,” Hinata continued. “I don’t have room for you in my house, but-… Komaeda does!” he yelled in a moment of inspiration. “I know for a fact that he does!”

Komaeda? The thought effectively silenced her. Was he out of the hospital already? The familiar feeling of guilt flooded her as she realized that she had been so absorbed in her own life and personal events that she didn’t even remember to visit him again. But… As much as she felt bad, she couldn’t quite imagine staying in the same room with him again for very long, much less live in the same vicinity.

Hinata inhaled deeply and then exhaled. “If you don’t want to stay with him, I can call around the others and see if any one of them can take you.”

“No, you don’t have to…” The nurse sniffed. She didn’t want him to hang up on her. She didn’t want to be left alone.

“Then I can pay for a hotel room. However long you need.”

“No!” was her automatic answer. She didn’t want to burden him. “I-I mean… No, please don’t…”

“Tsumiki, you need somewhere to stay. I won’t let you sleep out in the streets.”

“I-I know…”

Hinata ended up attempting to console her for a good twenty minutes, all while the entire story of her terrible week came out. Tsumiki must have spilled a good two litres of salty tears in the presence of his soothing tone.

Once the plum-haired girl had mostly calmed down, he tried switching back to the important subject. “Are you sure you don’t want me to call the others? Maybe Sonia has room.”

Sonia most likely did have room, in her spacious mansion fit for a foreign princess. But she knew that Tanaka would be around, and she didn’t feel quite comfortable around him… Not to mention the barrage of animals that would most likely be roaming the halls.

Most of the others were out of the question as well. What was left to do? She didn’t want to burden any of them, but she also didn’t want to be forced to ask the Future Foundation for help. That would prove to her, and everyone else, that she couldn’t stand on her own two feet. And would also involve admitting her stupid mistakes to the very people that gave her a second chance.

…But she didn’t really have a choice. It was either swallow her pride or possibly end up working somewhere like the sex industry just to make ends meet.

Tsumiki physically shook her head, before realizing that Hinata couldn’t see her. “U-Um… No, it’s okay. A-Actually…” she backtracked. “Maybe ask just Sonia-san?”

“Alright. I’ll call you back once I- Oh, you’re not on your cellphone… Call me back in ten minutes?”

Tsumiki involuntarily agreed, feeling her last bits of change fall seamlessly through the lining of her wallet and disappear.

After spending the designated time twiddling her thumbs and waiting antsily, she redialed Hinata’s number.

“I can’t get through to her,” his voice came with a regretful sigh. “I tried three times. I don’t know what’s holding her up. Tsumiki, I’m sorry. Do you want me to try someone else?”

Feeling her heart crush like ice underneath a sledgehammer, the plum-haired girl said nothing. She didn’t really want to ask anyone else, least of all the Future Foundation, but she also really didn’t want to force Hinata to pay for a hotel room for her. There was nothing else she could do. She had to…

Tsumiki took a deep breath before speaking again. “Would…Komaeda-san mind?”

The nurse almost couldn’t believe her own words. She still had a difficult time imagining this situation, but she really had no other option. Maybe this was extremely selfish of her, as they weren’t even friends, and she would be disrupting his new life because of her own irresponsibility. But even if it was unfair to Komaeda himself, she knew that Hinata would appreciate it- her checking up on the white-haired boy’s condition and willingly becoming a companion to him, as he never really got along with any of the others. She would deal with her own discomfort, and try not to intrude on his space for long.

There was a pause on Hinata’s end, then, “Alright, I’ll call him. Call me back again in ten minutes?”

Even as Tsumiki tried to mentally prepare herself once she hung up the receiver, half of her hoped that Komaeda would refuse. He may’ve been completely harmless in his coma, but she couldn’t anticipate his behaviour in his newly awakened state, drugged up or not. Not to mention _the hand_ , which he may not have decided to cover up unlike the rest of them. What would she do if he didn’t?

The right amount of time later, Hinata informed her of Komaeda’s consent to the whole exchange, but only until she got back on her feet. She couldn’t stop the feeling of pins pricking her nerves, but refused to allow herself to feel unacceptable disappointment. What she got was more than good enough for what she deserved.

“And Tsumiki, I’m really sorry about the trouble. If it’s any consolation, I’m sure your presence will help him integrate back into this world. I’ll visit you sometime soon, okay?”

And that was how Tsumiki ended up in the backseat of a taxi a few hours later.

In her lap, her gloved hands clutched a neatly-wrapped box that housed a fluffy green scarf. She hoped it was a suitable present, as the weather could get very cold. She would’ve gotten him a pair of socks, but it was possible for her intentions to be misinterpreted in that case. The scarf wasn’t hand-knit, of course, as they didn’t have a close relationship. She also barely knew how to knit, even if stitching came easy.

Tsumiki stayed quiet as the vehicle drove on, glancing out the window to observe the still cloudy and grey sky that stared back at her. Rows of houses streamed by in colourful blurs, and the painful flow of anxiety began to fill her heart again the longer she stayed in the taxi. She didn’t know what to expect when she saw Komaeda again. Did she make her decision too hastily? Hinata wasn’t urging her to stay with him. But he _did_ say that she would be able to help him… An image of him begging Komaeda to let her into his house, even temporarily, flashed across her mind.

The seat below shifted as the plum-haired girl sat up higher in an attempt to peek over the windshield. The road in front seemed endless. Until…

Up ahead, a figure with unmistakable white hair grabbed her full attention. Whom she immediately recognized as Komaeda stood still on the sidewalk, hands deep in his pockets, the wind picking up his curly locks. As she saw his head turn to face the approaching car, Tsumiki quickly plopped back down so as not to make accidental eye contact, her heart beating as fast or possibly faster than the car engine. She was not ready for this.

Her heart landed with a thud as she wondered how long had he been standing there, waiting for her. She dreaded it being an hour. Just in case, she vowed to get on her knees and beg for his forgiveness. She _was _going to do it anyway, in exchange for his hospitality.__

Less than a minute later, the car came to a slow halt, stopping in front of a large and elegant-looking pure white house. Absentmindedly starting to observe the marble walls, Tsumiki wondered how Komaeda lived, when his shape suddenly came into her field of view and she embarrassingly averted her gaze.

The plum-haired girl continued to be an icicle as the driver door opened, and glimpsed his pale hand while motionlessly witnessing the coming payment exchange. Another thing she had to repent for on this visit. His curly head disappeared briefly as he straightened back up, and the door slammed as it closed again. Now it was her turn.

Trying to swallow her fear, the nurse forcefully pushed open the barrier between her and the white-haired boy, and boldly hopped out. She turned back around briefly to sling her purse back over her shoulder and take the suitcase she had filled with her belongings. It didn’t belong to her- her landlady took pity on her and loaned it, an offer the nurse had to accept. There was no way to escort anything out of the apartment otherwise. Once she gave a bow and a thank you to the taxi driver, she faced Komaeda, whose hands were still buried in his pockets.

The sound of tires against cement when the taxi drove away provided the backdrop for their first meeting while Tsumiki nervously clutched the suitcase with both her hands, holding the gift box awkwardly in between her elbows. They stood in silence for what seemed like several moments, as neither made an immediate move to greet the other. Komaeda stood about a meter away from her, but it was clear that he was still a whole head taller than her, making her feel smaller than usual. Hinata was the same, but his height (or presence) wasn’t nearly as intimidating. As much as she wanted to keep staring at the sidewalk, she couldn’t avoid the difficult task of forcing herself to raise her chin and look into his face. It had been so long since she had last fully done so, always afraid of what she would see.

What instantly greeted her was the same, easygoing smile he was never without. It was surreal, finally seeing him conscious and outside of the hospital. His light bangs fell messily over his forehead, into-…

The moment the nurse’s own eyes met his piercing, despair-reflecting grey ones permanently sealed her fate. It was over. She was trapped.

Resisting the urge to run down the other street, Tsumiki immediately broke contact and quickly dipped her head down into a bow.

Before she could utter a word, his now barely familiar voice struck her ears. “Do you need help carrying that?”

Her entire body froze, and a blush crawled onto her cheeks as she realized her large chest was all that was supporting the present from falling onto the pavement in her bent over state. “U-Um,” she squeaked, too embarrassed to lift her head. “N-No, thank you…”

At that, he turned around and seemed to motion to her to follow him. She straightened herself up, and quickly pitter-pattered after him on the path as best as she could, despite the strain on her arms. Peeking at him while his back was turned, the first thing she noticed, aside from his hands being out of sight, was that he was wearing a fairly normal jacket over jeans instead of anything she remembered him in. This wasn’t unusual to Tsumiki, as none of the others wore their old clothes, and the nurse herself would rather dispose of her old school uniform using a paper shredder before letting the unclean cloth touch her flesh again. It had also been a while since she saw him out of a hospital gown.

Once they were up the porch steps, Komaeda unlocked the front door that was as white as the house it was attached to, and allowed the nurse to step in after him. After closing it behind them, he casually strolled in front of her and bent down to presumably remove his shoes, while she abashedly glanced down at her own feet and wondered where to set down the suitcase.

“You can put that over there.” Reading her thoughts, he gestured to a spot on the wooden floor off the carpet they were both on.

Tsumiki took a step, trying not to dirty the floor with her boots, and let go of the heavy suitcase which landed with an earth-shattering _thud_ , making her inwardly cringe. The white-haired boy seemed to take no notice, however, as he carefully placed aside his shoes and slipped on a pair of house slippers, performing the entire process with only his right hand. Gulping down her nervousness, the plum-haired girl clutched her giftbox with her now free hands.

“H-Here!” she cried, awkwardly shoving the present in his direction, nearly hitting the side of his head. “I-I got this for you…”

Her heart pounded as Komaeda glanced at it out of the corner of his eye and then corrected his position to face her again. Holding her breath, she prayed with all her heart that she wasn’t just making a fool of herself. _Please take it…_

Tsumiki felt his eyes rake over her and then rest solely on the box. She was too afraid to look at whatever facial expression he may’ve had on, but she hoped it wasn’t disgust or indifference. Would he accept it? If he wasn’t fond of her previous gifts, maybe he wouldn’t like this one either…

Awkward silence. Then…

“Thank you,” Komaeda uttered finally, with an edge of surprise in his voice as he took the present from her hands. “…I appreciate it.” It was similar to what Hinata would have said, except there would’ve been a polite refusal beforehand.

Even so, her heart let out a breath of relief and silently thanked any Kamis that might’ve been listening. But then... The nurse’s eyes flew to the sides of the box, which were now held by both of his hands. Including… As she glanced at the nauseatingly familiar red nails for the first time in what seemed like ages, she found that her earlier prediction had been mostly correct. Her stomach churned as if her intestines wanted to escape her body and she had to fight to stop herself from gagging. She didn’t think that Komaeda would appreciate it if she threw up all over his carpet.

What was she going to do now?

Luckily for her, the limb temporarily left her sight as the white-haired boy turned to set aside the gift, and she forced herself to instead think about whether he would like what she gave him or not. Taking a peek at (the side of) his face, she noted in relief that it wasn’t indifference or disgust. It wasn’t happiness either (although she didn’t expect that), but it also wasn’t surprise. She couldn’t tell. The plum-haired girl began to mentally run through every emotion on the rainbow, until she was forced to halt by a turn of his head and instead swiftly bent down to undo her boots. It probably didn’t matter. She most likely wouldn’t be seeing his reaction when he actually opened the box, unless he decided to bluntly state what he thought of it to her. If he didn’t like it again, the thought that she’d buy him something else crossed her mind, but was miserably squashed as she again imagined the very little amount of yen left in her possession. Learning to bake sounded like a good option…

But before Tsumiki could mentally explore that latest idea, Komaeda, upon seeing that she also put slippers on, requested again to follow him. And so she obeyed, allowing herself to be led into the hall, further being swallowed up in a house that surprisingly did not radiate the dread of despair.

Their footsteps sounded on the floor in unison as they walked along, the nurse trying to look anywhere but his left side. However, she still couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking at the moment. Was he cursing her very existence in a way that no matter how many gifts she conjured up, wouldn’t remedy? Tsumiki became hyperaware of his stiff movements, but they could easily be from the coma…

“So,” Komaeda’s voice came out as he suddenly turned to face her again, making her come to a screeching halt and nearly lose her balance. His smile never faltered, even at her surprised squeak. “Welcome to my house, Tsumiki-san.” 

As she was getting ready to kneel to the floor in a hasty bow in exchange, he continued, “To show my welcome, I’d like to give you a short tour, if you wouldn’t mind.”

“Y-Yes, of course!” Again, before she could utter any form of apology or show her unworthy gratitude, his back presented itself to her and she had no choice but to stalk in defeat after him down the dim hallway.

Now that she wasn’t as focused on the male before her, she could fully observe the interior of the very spacious home. The inside was as elegant as the outside, walls white as marble, but with a slight but undeniable yellowing and cracks in the corners. The wall-lamps were furnished with a gold finish, and the wooden floors were perfectly polished. Tsumiki expected there to be at least a cobweb or ten, as Komaeda mentioned how long he had stayed out, but she couldn’t detect even the tiniest speck of dust floating astray. He must’ve been a real clean freak, just like she was with any medical equipment. But even though the space looked almost new in its cleanliness, a musty scent hung in the air, giving away the home’s age. She wondered how the white-haired boy lived in such a big house. Did he share it with anyone?

“It’s a shame about your apartment,” he said as he walked on, startling her. “How long do you think it will take for the problem to be fixed?”

“I-I…” Tsumiki stuttered meekly. “I d-don’t know…”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s no issue for me. There’s plenty for you to stay awhile.”

Not that she was planning on it.

As they continued to explore, Tsumiki took in the ordinary-looking kitchen, the spotless tiled bathroom, the fancy living room, and much of the rest. Komaeda didn’t have much to say about each of them except for the function they served. That was fine with the nurse, as she wouldn’t have had much to say in response except for stuttered compliments out of politeness. They then headed down what seemed like the final hallway, with Komaeda stopping in front of a brown door. A meter away was another door much the same, along with a pair of doors at the very end.

“And this is where you’ll be sleeping,” he opened the door they were standing at. “Y- don’t go in there.” His voice suddenly became sharp as Tsumiki jumped thirty feet in the air, quickly tearing her eyeballs away from the doors at the end of the hall. She wouldn’t dream of disobeying him, even if curiosity began to gnaw at her.

Quickly reverting to his previous demeanor as if nothing happened, Komaeda gestured inside the room. “You can unpack your belongings in here.” The plum-haired girl curiously tiptoed her way inside while he stood in the doorway. What inched into her vision was a small and near-bare room that contained only a bed, an empty shelf, a presumably empty dresser, and a night-table. But it was as clean as the rest of the house. Still, it was more than she could have ever asked for. She would’ve been grateful if he let her sleep in his basement.

“If you need anything, don’t hesitate to come to me.”

Before he could retreat from her yet again, she quickly jumped around and immediately bowed. “Thank you so much, Komaeda-san!”

There was only silence. Had he left already? When she glanced up, he was staring straight at her, making her want to crawl back into her cowardly shell.

But then he unexpectedly gave her a warm smile. “You’re welcome, Tsumiki-san.”

And he was gone.

But Tsumiki barely moved from her spot. Was he accepting her now, rather than begrudgingly letting her intrude into his home? The corners of his mouth seemed friendly enough, but his eyes still haunted her as they effortlessly pierced through the weak layers of a shell she had crafted for her psyche.

She would just have to try to get over it.

“Here, Tsumiki-san,” his voice and then a thud on the floor startled her until she realized that he had brought her suitcase. She was stunned for a moment, until, touched, a completely genuine and non-nervous smile formed on her lips. “Th-thank you!”

He smiled back, which eased her nerves. All seemed well between the two, until…

When the exact contents of the suitcase became clear to Komaeda as Tsumiki started to unzip it, a heavily puzzled look made its way onto his face.

“Tsumiki-san, are you expecting to starve while you’re here?” he asked, referring to the brightly coloured cartons of uncooked instant noodles and miso soup that became visible. She blushed furiously. “No, b-but I… I-I didn’t want to waste food…” She had to throw most of the easily-expiring food in her apartment out, which nearly destroyed her inside, and so decided to hoard what she could. Tsumiki also didn’t want him to waste his own food supply on her, but being the stupid person she was, she only managed to insult his hospitality. Truthfully, she was only going to ask for his table scraps, but she felt that admitting it would offend him further.

“...Did you at least manage to pack your clothes? I have none for you, so if you need any, just ask me and I’ll give you the money to go buy some.”

The plum-haired girl wordlessly began to stare at the suitcase, afraid to admit that she stupidly didn’t pack very much clothing. “I-I did…” But when she turned, he was gone again.

Moments later, he reappeared and offered her several yen bills. “Go on to the store nearby, and buy yourself some clothes,” he instructed firmly. She froze for a longer period of time, then weakly took the money without even managing to muster a whimper of refusal. His tone reminded her of the way Hinata commanded her whenever she put her own well-being below even dirt, which happened to be often.

Having no choice other than possibly insulting Komaeda further by refusing, Tsumiki went to the store.

She didn’t know the area at all, but he quickly directed her to the most nearby supermarket. He had given her quite a bit of yen, and told her to spend it on clothes and anything extra she needed. She of course felt guilty, but would’ve felt even guiltier if she came back empty-handed, too remorseful to part with money that didn’t belong to her. It would’ve shown her weakness again. It was Komaeda’s money, but it was money that he chose to waste on a worm like her. His choice, not hers.

The plum-haired girl wandered around the brightly lit store for a while in the clothing section, deciding exactly what she needed and nothing more. It was still winter but almost nearing spring. She looked longingly at some skirts, but hoped that she wouldn’t be at Komaeda’s long enough to need them, and so disciplined herself. By the time she headed toward the checkout, her arms held clothing racks that hosted two pairs of sweaters, some underwear, a pair of pyjamas, and a few pairs of socks.

“Hey, Tsumiki!” 

Her heart temporarily leapt out of her chest at the sound of a familiar voice.

One foot away was Hinata, carrying a package of sheets, grinning as he came towards her. She wanted to cry at seeing him again after her trainwreck of a day.

“Didn’t expect to see you here. I tried calling you, but then remembered your phone is still dead. Komaeda just texted me to say that you got there. How is everything going so far?”

She couldn’t stop smiling in relief, but then suddenly became more embarrassed than glad. “It’s...going well. H-He has an extra room for me, and is gonna let me eat his food, and...told me to go out and buy clothes…”

Hinata studied what she was carrying, and broke into another smile. “I’m glad. If he didn’t treat you well, both of you know that I would’ve stepped in. I still promise to pay you a visit soon, okay?”

Tsumiki didn’t think she deserved to be even infringing on the same air as anybody else, and so she wouldn’t care if Komaeda did treat her badly. But she didn’t voice this thought. “Y-Yeah,” she agreed instead. “Th-thank you so much for…” She didn’t know what to say. Convincing Komaeda to let her leech off him? Not letting her starve, even if it didn’t matter to her if she did? The plum-haired girl squashed those selfish thoughts. “F-for caring about me.”

“It’s no problem at all. But, Tsumiki,” Hinata spoke up, then stopped, seeming to be deep in thought. He quickly recovered, and continued, “Please don’t feel bad about using Komaeda’s money. He’s got more than enough of it.”

Tsumiki blushed at his easy dissection of her. “I-I won’t.” She couldn’t bear it if Hinata thought of her as weak, and so she would try to comply.

But of course, it wasn’t as simple as that.

When she managed to get back to Komaeda’s house, she flushed as the white-haired boy keenly observed the one bag she carried, but didn’t utter a word. She wondered if Hinata put him up to this, and their meeting at the store was really non-coincidental.

Afterwards, Komaeda prepared them both dinner (not instant noodles or miso soup, as he insisted), which she eagerly ate. Tsumiki was surprised that he was actually a good cook, as he always seemed so skinny to her and possibly malnourished. Of course, she didn’t forget to thank him profusely. Although their first shared meal wasn’t without awkwardness. If possible, it was even worse than her meeting with the others before, as neither Hinata nor Sonia were there to protect her. He didn’t stare at her judgmentally, like she feared. Instead, he barely looked at her at all, and never attempted to make conversation. Somehow that was better, but also worse. But, she couldn’t help thinking, it was better than his drugged up state. One saving grace was a dark glove now visible on his left hand, which made her feel faint with relief.

The plum-haired girl said nothing, though. He could treat her any way he wanted and she wouldn’t complain, as long as she was there.

“So, Tsumiki-san,” Komaeda started, when they both had finished. “Would you like to take a bath now?”

“H-Huh?” she stopped in her tracks while she carried her own bowl to the sink.

“The guest goes first, right?”

Oh, right. It would be extremely impolite to refuse his hospitality in this way. But she hadn’t taken a bath by herself in a long time. What if she… Tsumiki paused, frozen as to how to respond. She couldn’t be rude. She had to-

“A-Ah-” she looked toward Komaeda, and blushed as she realized that she was under his keen stare the entire time. “...Y-Yes.”

“You can go ahead, then.” He turned to pick up the remaining dishes and after flashing a smile, pointed down the hall. “The bathroom’s that way.”

Tsumiki half-expected him to ask if she needed help preparing the water, but that was stupid. She would’ve refused, anyway. She could handle it on her own.

The white door opened smoothly to reveal a spacious white linoleum bathroom, equipped with a clean shower, sink, toilet, towel rack, and a modern-looking tub. A stool sat neatly in front of the showerhead, with a bin of washcloths and body products nearby. Tsumiki brought her own shampoo and other products, since she didn’t want to waste Komaeda’s, and so set down the bottles next to the sink. But instead of proceeding to fill the tub, she looked nervously all around the room. An eerie atmosphere hung without the familiar comforting chatter of other people, and the sheer size of the room unfortunately raised a red flag of reminder of Hope’s Peak Academy. Images of the white tile harboring splashes of blood flashed through her mind, and she was forced to fight the urge to flee. Suddenly, she was glad Komaeda didn’t ask to help. His presence in there with her might’ve made the resurfacing of memories even harder to bear.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to imagine being in the public bath again as she stripped off her bandages and threw them into the garbage bin next to the toilet. Taking a deep breath, inhaling the smell of cleaning product in the process, she stepped towards the sink. The nurse quickly brushed her teeth with the toothbrush she brought and then washed her face, trying not to look into the mirror for too long. 

Afterwards, Tsumiki forced herself to face the clean, white tub. Cautiously, she stepped closer. Reaching out, she bravely turned the metal taps, allowing a strong flow of water to pour out. As she watched the bathtub fill, the clear water softly and surely turned into the murky colour of blood. Gasping in fright, a strong image of her using various decapitated body parts to fill a tub full of blood for her former master to bathe in invaded her head mercilessly. Pain shot through her skull, and she stumbled back uncontrollably, nearly falling backwards onto the floor before she started to tug painfully at her hair until it passed. Several horrible minutes later, miserable clumps of plum-coloured hair were wadded up in her fists and promptly tossed into the garbage. She had already caused a lot of damage to her scalp in the past months whenever moments like this happened, and showed no signs of starting to break this awful habit. When her vision returned, her eyes refocused on the clear-again water, and she gasped again as she ran to turn off the taps before the tub overflowed.

Berating herself yet again, Tsumiki miserably stared at the white marble tub before deciding that she just couldn’t do it. But then how was she ever gonna take a bath again?

After being stuck further in a personal limbo, the nurse slowly wandered back over to the showerhead and picked it up off the wall. Sprays of cold water dripped into the tiled floor and on the stool, after which she turned off and carefully placed it back. Then she picked up her bath supplies and towel, and slipped back on her slippers. The door gently opened, and the plum-haired girl cautiously stepped out.

When she finally got back to the guest room, she tried not to suspiciously slam the door behind her in fear after her great escape. Tsumiki hadn’t seen Komaeda at all to her great relief, and greatly hoped that he wouldn’t notice anything amiss. Amidst her near-panic over getting back to her room in-tact, the previous anxiety flooded her being once again and she let herself slide to the floor with only the door behind her as support. Her head ached as she squeezed her eyes shut, her breath rate increasing. Remorse and guilt hacked at her the same way she hacked at those people, with only half of them being already dead. She lifted her left hand, and the fingers on her other hand drifted closer and closer to the fingernails on her left hand. Just as she was about to perform another awful habit that she hid from Hinata to escape her pain, the sudden noise of a door swinging open startled her. She exhaled in relief as she realized that it wasn’t her door, but another one outside the room. It must be Komaeda.

Even then, her heart beat faster as she listened to the sound of the door closing and his footsteps trailing away on the wooden floor. She wondered if he heard her in the bathroom before. She sighed in relief when all she was able to hear was the sound of the bathroom door opening and then closing in the vast silence of the house. Not that she was trying to spy on him. And at least she was able to fill the tub with warm water. But then she wondered how she would take a bath in the coming weeks. She’d have to try to sneak away to a local public bath, if there was one nearby…

Tsumiki didn’t come out of her room for the next hour, afraid to tread around the house without Komaeda’s supervision. Aside from believing she had no right to, an expensive-looking vase on a corner table almost hit the floor during her poorly-planned scramble out of the bathroom. To distract herself, she spent time unpacking the rest of her suitcase and putting away her belongings. When she was done, she changed into her pyjamas and sat on the bed, playing games on her now fully-charged phone while texting Hinata and then Sonia to let them know that she was still alright. Although she felt guilty for not telling Sonia the truth about her current situation, out of persisting shame.

Tsumiki didn't really know how to tell the princess that she was now stuck, facing fragments of her horrific past, with a person whose mere presence made it all so much worse. Even if she had been able to handle it on a surface level before.

The plum-haired girl nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of a knock, and turned her attention to the door.

“Tsumiki-san, are you in there? May I come in?”

The nurse squeaked a “yes”, and Komaeda appeared at the now-open doorway, wearing a clean white t-shirt and pyjama pants. She flushed at his appearance and as his eyes fell on her in her new pink pyjamas, she quickly tugged down the ankle of her right pants-leg.

It was a moment before he spoke again. “You should get some sleep now, Tsumiki-san. It isn’t good for a nurse to ruin her health.”

“U-um… Y-Yes, I will.”

“I’m going to bed myself. You can wake me up if you need me for anything. Goodnight.”

With that, he left as swiftly as he came.

Noting how late it was getting, Tsumiki placed her phone aside on the nightstand and switched off the table lamp next to her. Crawling underneath the covers, she noted that the blanket and sheets were more comfortable than she was used to, and that the bed was actually warm. Feeling the most relaxed she’d ever been, she fell back onto the mattress and allowed her mind to wander into sweet daydreams. And with her mind, soon slipped away her consciousness.

_As if drawn by a hook, the three children jumped into the only puddle in the schoolyard. Laughing and splashing around, they were having the time of their lives. Their bottoms were wet, but they had not a single care in the world. The one girl in the group seemed to have the biggest smile as she giggled and danced along, while the boys had matching cheeky grins. When they all finally became tired, each of them plopped themselves on the edge of the sandbox and kicked off their drenched sneakers._

_“You got my shorts wet, Hinata-kun!” the light-haired boy loudly complained._

_“It was your idea to go in the puddle!” the dark-haired boy retorted back._

_The girl giggled as she watched her friends bicker before happily announcing, “Hey, let’s go play in the field!” The three kids then scurried off, and stained their clothes green from tackling each other and rolling around in the tall grass. The blue sky above seemed to watch intently over them._

_The girl decided to relax and lie back, watching the clouds, until a sudden light shape pounced on her. “Gotcha!”_

_“Ouch, Komaeda-kun! That hurts!”_

Tsumiki awoke suddenly, feeling extreme heat on her upper body and sweat on her forehead. Her dry eyes barely focused, only seeing that it was still dark in the room. Confused thoughts ran through her head as she realized that the reason she had woken up was not because of her usual night terrors- but from a strange and surprisingly pleasant dream.

As her brain tried to reboot itself in her still-tired state, her pupils were finally able to refocus. But what met her vision in the next split-second nearly made her let out a shriek.

Right in front of her face, almost on top of her, was Komaeda.

“I can’t sleep, Tsumiki-san,” she heard him croak, looking dazed. His body was above-average temperature, and out of impulse and instinct, her hand flew directly onto his drenched forehead.

No doubt. He had a fever.

Over the next few minutes, she got him back into his own bed and upon his request, perched on the bedside next to him. His room was bigger than the guest room, but it was about as empty. The only distinguishing features that she could see was a tall bookshelf full of books, a wooden desk against the wall, a brightly coloured rug, and… Her eye caught something that shined even in the darkness. A silver frame sat serenely on the desktop, directly parallel to Komaeda’s bed. In it, contained a photograph of what looked like two people, but she couldn’t make out who they were. She felt it rude to ask about.

“Do you want me to make you some tea?” she asked instead, turning her attention back to the white-haired boy. The plum-haired girl had already determined that it was most likely a stress fever and not a fatal-illness fever, thankful that she was able to use her nurse expertise and be of some use to him. She didn’t blame him at all, with having to adjust to a new life and having her intrude upon it to inject poison in the wound. The entire scenario felt very familiar to her, except that he wasn’t on the brink of fatality.

“...Tsumiki-san,” he said instead. Before she could respond, he continued, “What was your childhood like?”

She was caught completely off-guard. Her childhood? From all she remembered, it was definitely nothing like her dream.

There wasn’t much to remember, anyway. She had already long locked away the memories.

“U-Um...It was…” she paused, not knowing what to say.

A tense silence.

“What about your parents? What were they like?”

Tsumiki’s body went hot then immediately cold. She clutched onto her arms defensively, and fought her brain to prevent unwanted memories from seeping in. She hadn’t thought about her parents in a long time. Or whatever was left of them.

She then suddenly stood up from her position, making the mattress bounce back into shape. “I-I’ll go make you some tea!” she announced, and quickly began heading towards the door.

“Tsumiki-san,” Komaeda called from behind her.

She was forced to stop, and turn her head back around to meet his gaze. “...Yes?”

“Just so you’re aware...”

Another short silence. And then…

“This doesn’t mean we’re friends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dundundunnn~! What'll happen next? I can't make any promises this time as to when exactly the next chapter will be up, but I'll try my best. I actually had a lot of fun working on this one, and hopefully that'll continue. But please don't murder me! DX (Stay tuned!)


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